WELCOME TO ROOM 0017

AN OMELETTE EVERY FRIDAY, A FIG FOR LIKABILITY

No, I don't really give a fig for likability. I mean, it's like, are we likable?
OUT ON A LIMB

Bound like a prayer booklet, the menu advertises bowls of beans, lobster chowder, and pickled beets.
COMMERCE INN

I'm excited about having my first solo crossword in The Times. I'm in seventh grade. I like all my subjects, especially math and foreign languages.
crossword answers

This story is not about branding, but maybe it should be,
the biggest little press

And because I wasn’t really here I didn’t yet know how I like things, so I put two sugars and milk into my coffee, because that’s how the ratcatcher takes his.
pond

They stare when you walk in the room
like they're looking at Heaven
homegirl

Hysterical laughter
driving on a highway.
Under the bridge hysteria.
HYSTERIA

While on my hunger strike I felt like Ghandi and realized that if you martyr yourself long enough you actually start to believe in whatever it is you’re advocating for.
autofiction

The color in the earlier snapshots had faded, just as it has in pictures of my own family: same haircuts, same flared slacks and shirts with long droopy collars, only now drained of their vibrancy, like lawns in winter.
why aren’t you laughing?

I have an English friend named Ingrid, and her father was an alcoholic. When he lost his license for driving drunk, he got himself a tricycle and would pedal it back and forth to a pub, everyone in the village watching.
why aren’t you laughing?

Mostly we seem to have no language to discuss what’s happening.
on rachel

Well, every Friday is omelet day. That went into effect about 20 years ago. And Friday noon is leftover day.
COMMERCE INN

He sympathized with their desire to find language for what they did.
WORD SALAD

The girls weren’t monster trucks this time. They were ghost people with black eyes.
rick owens

We want perversion, imperfection, wrongness, no matching, alive at every time at the same time, total mystery, style as a chase, a pursuit, an experiment, perhaps even an EXISTENTIAL THREAT to the SACRED HANGUPS OF THE BOURGEOISIE? But also it’s summer so it’s not TOO HOT? 
Opulent tips

I sat down at the dinner table, and he moved another chair to an appropriate distance and sat down himself. No doubt he was following protocol, and yet the sentence—“there is no good way to say this”—struck me as both accurate and effective
the death of two sons

still the poem does not come
untitled 6

Tashjian hoovers up cultural morsels with the efficiency of a next-generation Dyson.
on rachel

I like to eat inside McDonalds especially in New York because it is like a Library that has burgers
perfectly imperfect